Thursday, June 5, 2014

Getting It Right

Parenting is hard. Even in the best of circumstances.

Somehow even admitting that is difficult for some of us because we think that if we say it, then somehow we don't love being a parent enough. That we have failed our kids.

But it's okay. Parenting is hard. Kids can be difficult. And, God help us, we are human.
Like...really, really human.

And there are those of us who came from difficult backgrounds. And those of us who parent on our own. And those of us who have little darlings with special needs. And those of us...

Let's just put it out there, "the best of circumstances" is not the norm.

And we wonder all the time...did I do enough? Did I screw it up? Did I get it right? And most days we have to admit our human-ness.

But then...there are days when our kids clear it up for us.

My son (the college student!!!) had to write a paper for his Composition class. He discussed single parenting in America. He told our story. He called me strong, praised my perseverance...described my ferocity in his defense...the way I cared for him when he was hurt...the way I was there for him when my Dad died and how he got to be there for me...he said I was his example...his hero.

His teacher wrote a note on the front page. She called it a beautiful story and told him to make sure I got to read it. He told her he wasn't sure he wanted to do that, because I'd get all mushy and cry.

He was right. But they were happy tears.

Heads up, Moms and Dads...we give it our all and our kids notice.

And for those whose kids don't notice...because they can't or won't. You are a faithful, wonderful parent. Keep persevering. Keep being human.

As Glennon Doyle Melton says "Carry On Warrior!"

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

In Which I Prove My Love For "If/Then" and What A Terrible Parent I Am...

Okay you last month the landlord or the postal service lost the freaking money order I sent to N. Carolina to pay the rent. After being unsettled for so long, finding what we considered the perfect house, and then having this was a tough blow. Since I don't have $1000 just laying around and neither do any of my friends, I started praying.

The money order didn't show up.
I didn't win the lottery (probably because I didn't play).
I didn't win the Publisher's Clearing House (probably because I didn't enter...and I'm not sure it's even a thing any more!)

So I started working really hard. Like harder than usual. And it's cool because little by little I'm getting it. Nothing else is getting paid but we are getting there.

The cable is the first thing to go.

And I tell you this not because I want pity...but because it is an integral part of our story.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Everyone was in good mood. The landlord came by and picked up the money I had and gave me a few days to get the rest and so we all breathed a sigh of relief and did a "we're not homeless" dance. of all...thanks to a sweet Mama's Day present from some good friends of mine...I knew that once the mail ran, magic would arrive...all wrapped up in an envelope!

The If/Then Original Cast Recording!!!

*Crickets and Silence from most of my audience*
But for those of you who do understand...the anticipation!!! I cursed the fact the mail runs so late at my house. It would be after rehearsal before I'd get to listen to it! I headed home with anticipation. There is a method to unwrapping books, movies and cds at my house and I was going to relish it.

Then, I had a moment of inspiration. I miss my son. Like a lot. Last week I went three days where I didn't get to see him more than ten minutes. I'm completely aware of the fact that in eight months I will give him over to the Marine Corps for four years and I cherish all our time together. So I decided that If/Then would have to wait and I called Trey and as I pulled into the driveway, he hopped in and we "splurged" on Steak & Shake. During the course of the our dinner, Trey told me about his new favorite comedian and about the paper he wrote for class. That he talked about single Moms and how tough they had it...and about how I was his hero. (You guys!!!) It was totally worth putting off listening to my new cd.

Then we got home. He went to bed. I opened the envelope. Instagrammed the cd cover (of course). Perused the insides. Got my CD player and head phones and headed to bed. After getting comfortable, I realized with some annoyance that the batteries in cd player were almost dead the CD could barely play. And this is where it got ugly. There were no more batteries!!! I tried to be logical you guys...I really did! But when Idina defies gravity on the high notes (see what I did there?) or when Anthony Rapp starts singing "You Don't Have To Love Me" there is a thrill of emotions that can't be described or contained and I NEEDED THOSE DANG BATTERIES!

So I did the only thing I could...I snuck into the living room and stole the batteries out of the remote.

That's right people...on what is probably the last day my children will have cable in some time, I disabled the remote.

And it's totally worth it!